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Posts tagged Activism

For Colored Boys Who Have Considered Suicide… by Keith Boykin

Sep04
2012 Written by Shelly

I’ve recently finished reading the new book, For Colored Boys Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Still Not Enough: Coming of Age, Coming Out, and Coming Home by author Keith Boykin, a well known political columnist and television commentator (CNBC and BET). His book features 44 stories from gay men of color that run the gamut from coming of age as a black, gay male, to coming out to family and to the larger community, to struggles with prejudice not only as African Americans but inside the black community because they’re gay, and inside the LGBT community because they’re not white. Also covered are struggles with religion in the context of its importance within the black community and so much more.

This book, an answer of sorts to the mostly white face of the “It Gets Better” campaign, paints a very different picture. For some of these men, it did indeed get better but, for many, the struggles continue in large part because of race. We get eight distinctive sections here with stories from mostly African American men but at least one man is of Jamaican descent and at least a couple are of Asian descent.

In some of these stories, the men who contributed show that they have triumphed over the odds. In others…not so much. The struggle continues. Many of these men tell an abbreviated story of their journey with a primary focus on one factor like, coming out to family, or reconciling their gay selves within the black view of what it means to be a Christian, or the difficulty in finding a partner to share life with because of the color of their skin. At times you’ll laugh with them but, mostly, you’ll shake your head that it’s so hard and you may even, possibly, feel some of their pain.

Boykin has done an amazing job pulling these 44 stories together into a read that you won’t be able to put down. I couldn’t. It’s a pretty stark view into a world many of us never see directly from men living in it.

Posted in AIDS, Biography, Books, Family, Gay, History, Memoir, Nonfiction, Politics, Religion, Sexuality - Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Friday Movie Review: Beyond Gay: The Politics of Pride

Jun15
2012 Written by Shelly

Happy Pride! Or is it?

Now, if you’re in Central Ohio, this is Pride weekend in the Capitol city. The festival in Columbus kicks off at 4ish today in Goodale Park, downtown. The annual Pride Parade, this year themed “Allies and Equality” steps off at noon from the corner of Broad and High (adjacent to City Hall and across from the Statehouse). It proceeds north on High to Goodale. The festival gates open at 1:00, if not sooner.

Columbus’ “celebration” is typically seriously themed but a pretty good time for all 150,000-200,000 in attendance. Sure, there are people who protest the parade but the 30 or so of them are largely ignored. No one even bothers to address them. Police officers form a cruiser wall and keep them separate from the parade participants and viewers. The protestors don’t even bother to show up at the Festival anymore and they’re not usually at any of the pre and post-Pride events.

My wife and I comfortably walk around Columbus holding hands. We feel safe and accepted here. Still, Ohio is one of the 31 states that has a Constitutional amendment that defines marriage as between one man and one woman. There’s a lot politically that we’re behind on. Is it changing? Yes. Could we use Pride to further the cause? Absolutely!

Compared to many places in the U.S. and around the world, even politically, Pride in Columbus, Ohio is light years ahead in acceptance. Persecution and even death are the norm in cities like Moscow and in countries like Jamaica and Sri Lanka.

The 2009 documentary film, Beyond Gay: The Politics of Pride, by Ken Coolen, the Parade Director for the Vancouver (British Columbia, Canada) Pride Society (VPS), documents a full gamut of Pride events in cities around the globe. Some are celebrations of diversity. Others are entirely about civil rights and human rights and still others are outlawed and in places where any sort of overt participation – whether celebratory or for basic human rights – can get you jailed, raped or killed.

The film is a stark reminder of how far we’ve come in some places and how far we have to go in so many others.

Posted in Documentary, Gay, Lesbian, Movies - Tagged , , , , , , ,

For the Ferryman by Dr. Charles Silverstein

May30
2012 Written by Shelly

I took a break for a few days, but now I’m back to reviewing great books. I’ll have more on that specific statement in another post, but today I want to review October 2011 release of noted Dr. Charles Silverstein’s biography/memoir, For the Ferryman.

Why is Doctor Silverstein noted? Well, if his name doesn’t ring a bell, it should. He’s the psychologist wholly responsible for convincing the American Psychiatric Association to remove homosexuality as a “mental disorder” from their diagnostic manual. He’s celebrated in the LGBT community for that (and he always will be) and for his ongoing activism.

Silverstein calls this book a “personal history” and, indeed, it is. It’s more than a memoir, it’s history. His and ours as a community or, as another reviewer puts it, “as a family”. He writes about the very personal: his struggles in life, in work, and in his love life and specifically in his love life with partner William Borey, his (much) younger partner who fought – or chose not to fight – addictions. You’ll weep for this man. At the same time, you’ll cheer with him as he moves mountains for us as a community.

He’s 100% gay activist. He lives it. He walks his talk. His example is motivational. Read “For the Ferryman“. You’ll feel his story pour through you. I did!

Posted in Biography, Books, Gay, History, Memoir, Nonfiction, Social Sciences - Tagged , , , , ,

A Boy Scout Is… Zach Wahls on My Two Moms: Lessons of Love, Strength, and What Makes a Family

May15
2012 Written by Shelly

If you’re a member of the LGBT community and you’re at all interested in the issue of gay / same sex marriage then you’ve no doubt seen the video clip below from January 2011 of a then 19 year old Zach Wahls speaking to the Iowa House of Representatitves against a resolution to end same sex civil unions in Iowa:

The video says a lot about Zach Wahls. Now, he’s written a book to tell the rest of his story.  The book, titled, My Two Moms: Lessons of Love, Strength, and What Makes a Family was released last month by Gotham. It’s also available for the Kindle.

The interesting thing about this book is the layout of the chapters. Each chapter is titled as something taken from the Boy Scouts (motto, law and slogan) because Wahls is/was an Eagle Scout. I find that intriguing especially given our current climate of discord between the LGBT Community and Scouting over the recent ouster of a female den leader, Jennifer Tyrell, from a Cub Scout Pack because she is a lesbian. Wahls reminds us, in his book, what is good about Scouting and what an effect it and his moms have had on his life jointly. He shows that the children of gay and lesbian couples are no different than other kids, that their families are like other families. I think Maybe the hierarchy of the Boy Scouts of America should read it!

Is this a biography that’s destined to be a long term bestseller? No, probably not. Will it give you hope and make you feel better about “our” families – especially given all of the recent political rhetoric against same sex marriage, against LGBT families and even against  girl scouting for fostering a lesbian lifestyle? Yes, I do believe it will!

Posted in Biography, Books, Family, Memoir, Nonfiction, Politics - Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

GLSEN Day of Silence – April 20th, 2012

Apr20
2012 Written by Shelly

GLSEN Day of Silence - April 20, 2012

Today, April 20th, 2012 is the Day of Silence observed by middle school, high school and college students nationwide to bring awareness to the silence in the face of bullying, harassment and name calling endured by their LGBT identified classmates, friends and family members.

I wasn’t aware it was today until my son, bless him, came home last night and told me he had chosen to participate. I explained that he didn’t have to but, he decided this on his own and he wants to. I support him as he supports me and kids his age, younger and older than him who identify as queer like me.

For more information, go to DayOfSilence.org.

Posted in General Life Posts, Uncategorized - Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Torn Apart: United by Love, Divided by Law by Judy Rickard

Mar13
2012 Written by Shelly

I would not normally have chosen a book to review like the one I chose for today. It caught my eye and I gave it a read because the subject, especially in our current political climate, is pretty timely. The book I’m referring to is, Torn Apart: United by Love, Divided by Law by Judy Rickard.

Torn Apart tells the story of one bi-national couple’s (Judy’s and her partner Karin’s) struggle to stay together in the face of America’s marriage and immigration laws that completely ignore committed same sex couples and of other couples in similar and worse situations. Other couples in even more dire circumstances are also portrayed. These are not pretty stories or heartwarming stories. They’re stories that will make you angry.

As gays, lesbians and transgender men and women, we’ve all faced adversity and hate many times over. We have few civil rights. When one half of a same sex couple hails from a nation other than the U.S. and wants citizenship or the right to stay here to be with their partner, the problems and the issues compound. You cannot sponsor a same sex partner for a fiance/fiancee Visa in the U.S. It does not matter wether the state the U.S. Citizen half of the couple lives in allows for gay marriage or not. Federal law takes precedence meaning the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) automatically rules that no Visa will be issued. It’s already a horror story! Now, add children into that Bi-national mix, and you have, potentially, a horrifying nightmare.

This isn’t the most popular book “on the shelf” so to speak, right now but it’s a book of stories that had to be told and that certainly need to be heard. Judy, Karin and everyone else portrayed, never give up the fight! We’ll all get there soon!

Posted in Books, Family, Gay, Lesbian, Nonfiction, Politics - Tagged , , ,

Pedro and Me: Pedro Zamora – Activist, AIDS Educator – The Real World San Francisco

Feb18
2012 Written by Shelly

Pedro Zamora – not your “average San Francisco gay man”. Pedro became a household name in 1994 when episodes of the 3rd season of the MTV hit (still) television show, The Real World 3 – San Francisco began airing.

People around the world, many for the first time, could say they knew someone living with AIDS. As an out gay man and an AIDS educator being on The Real World gave Zamora a platform to educate millions and to raise awareness about the disease. He took full advantage. He subtly taught his housemates and, later, when he would go out and teach in schools and at public events, a couple would even go with him.

Pedro Zamora’s roommate in the set house in San Francisco was Judd Winick. Judd, an aspiring comic book creator and a self described libral, was – at first – uncomfortable rooming with a man with AIDS. As time went on, and Pedro subtly educated him, the two became close friends. In 2000, Judd published the then ground breaking graphic novel about their friendship, Pedro and Me: Friendship, Loss, and What I Learned. The book was re-released in 2009 with a new cover and an all new forward by Judd. It is a tribute to their friendship, a stark reminder of the scourge of AIDS, and a bow to the dynamic Pedro and it’s still highly regarded 12 years after its initial publication.

In 2009 the movie, Pedro was released by Wolfe Video, the LGBT powerhouse video distributor. It stars Alex Loynaz as Zamora and and other notables as his family and friends. It was penned by “Milk” screenwriter Dustin Lance Black and directed by Nick Oceano. The movie chronicles Pedro’s life and lessons. While it does cover his time in The Real World 3 San Francisco house, it’s about much, much more than that. It doesn’t dwell for an extended length on a time when his life (and the lives of his other housemates) was dominated by “Puck”, another Season 3 cast member/housemate.

The housemates moved out of The Real World house in June of 1994. Episodes began airing immediately after they left. Pedro Zamora died in November of 1994, the day after the last episode of The Real World 3 aired. May he rest forever in peace.

     

MTV.com episodes of the Real World 3 – San Francisco

Posted in AIDS, Biography, Biography, Books, Documentary, Gay, Movies, Nonfiction - Tagged , , , , ,

Intimate Politics: How I Grew Up Red, Fought for Free Speech, and Became a Feminist Rebel

Jan31
2012 Written by Shelly

The books that get by far the most attention from the readers of this site are the host of  offbeat biographies/memoirs of non-mainstream celebrities with unusual backgrounds and the one true crime thriller reviewed to date (She Wanted It All: A True Story of Sex, Murder, and a Texas Millionaire). I found a “new to me” autobiographical work that blends the offbeat, unusual background with some crime (on the part of someone else…mostly) and some thriller aspects. That book is, as the title gives away, Intimate Politics: How I Grew Up Red, Fought for Free Speech, and Became a Feminist Rebel by Bettina F. Aptheker.

Those of you that are up on your Marxist and Communist Party in America history are, no doubt, familiar with the Aptheker name. Bettina’s father was the late (deceased 2003) Herbert Aptheker, Marxist historian and political activist who was blacklisted during McCarthyism in the 1950s due to his outspoken affiliation with the Communist Party. Herbert was also well known for his works on African American history.

Daughter Bettina tells a startling tale. It begins, not with being raised in a free thinking household that supported Marxism and communist ideals though it does get there. Instead, she opens with sexual abuse suffered at the hands of her famous father that, at the time of 1st publication in 2006, caused quite an uproar among historians who worked hard to dispute her memories and to cast doubt on her. She would later be vindicated by journalist who interviewed her life partner (now spouse?) Kate Miller who was present at the time of her fathers 1999 confession.

The rest of the synopsis of her story is best told by the publisher:

At eight years old, Bettina Aptheker watched her family’s politics play out in countless living rooms across the country when her father, historian and U.S. Communist Party leader Herbert Aptheker, testified on television in front of the House on Un-American Activities Committee in 1953. Born into one of the most influential U.S. Communist families whose friends included W. E. B. Du Bois, Paul Robeson, and Elizabeth Gurley Flynn, Bettina lived her parents’ politics witnessing first-hand one of the most dramatic upheavals in American history. She also lived with a terrible secret: incest at the hands of her famous father and a frightening and lonely life lived inside a home wrought with family tensions.

A gripping and beautifully rendered memoir, Intimate Politics is at its core the story of one woman’s struggle to still the demons of her personal world while becoming a controversial public figure herself. This is the story of childhood sexual abuse, abortion, sexual violence, activism, and the triumph over one’s past. It’s about FBI harassment and persecution, Jewish heritage, and lesbian identity. It is, finally, about the courage to speak one’s truth despite the consequences and to break the sacred silence of family secrets.

Bettina Aptheker still teaches feminist studies at the University of California, Santa Cruz. She’s a respected and well liked professor.

Posted in Biography, Books, History, Lesbian, Memoir, Nonfiction, Politics - Tagged , , , ,

Unfinished Lives: Reviving the Memories of LGBTQ Hate Crimes Victims

Jan22
2012 Written by Shelly

We can never talk enough about bullying and hate crimes. Until we can end the violence, we must remember the past and work to see that it’s not forever repeated. With that it mind, I would like to talk about the January 2011 Resource Publications book release, Unfinished Lives: Reviving the Memories of LGBTQ Hate Crimes Victims by Dr. Stephen V. Sprinkle.

Dr. Sprinkle is an Associate Professor of Practical Theology at the Brite Divinity School which is located at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, Texas. He’s the first openly gay member of the faculty. His previous publications where theological in nature. Unfinished Lives was a work near to his heart. It was a research labor that took him all over the United States to seek records and to speak to the families and friends of victims and to hear their stories.

The Amazon.com published synopsis of the book:

Over 13,000 Americans have been murdered in the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries because of their sexual orientation and gender presentation. In Unfinished Lives: Reviving the Memory of LGBTQ Hate Crimes Victims, Stephen Sprinkle puts a human face on the outrage and loss suffered when people die from anti-gay hatred. Beginning with new developments in the story of Matthew Shepard’s murder in Laramie, Wyoming, Sprinkle tells the stories of fourteen representative LGBTQ victims whose lives were savagely cut short due to homophobia and transphobia. These are stories about people who could be your neighbor, classmate, co-worker, or friend – real, everyday people whose love was foreclosed, relationships brutally terminated, and future contributions stolen from us by outrageous, irrational hatred. Told lovingly yet unflinchingly, Unfinished Lives lifts the stories of these LGBTQ victims from undeserved obscurity, allowing their memory to live again. Relying on personal interviews and visits to the locations where these people lived, loved, and died, Sprinkle records the raw emotions, powerful movements for social change, and unexpectedly hopeful communities that arise from the ruins of those people whose only “offense” was to live as they were born to be. Part portraiture, part crime narrative, and part ethnography, Unfinished Lives is poised to change the conversation on hate crimes in the United States. Endorsements: “Unfinished Lives cries out to be read . . . It speaks to the systematic denigration of LGBTQ people in the United States . . . and it offers hope that the cycles of abuse and hatred and violence can be broken-one person, one family, one community at a time.” -from the Foreword by Harry Knox Director of the Religion and Faith Program Human Rights Campaign, Washington, DC “

Be warned, this is not a “feel good” accounting. Many of these murders were brutal. Those stories are told, with no holds barred. The aim of the author is for us to bear witness to these acts, to grieve for the victims and to become angry at their tormentors and, through that anger, to push for social change. This book is part memorial but, perhaps more so, a call to action and to activism.

Posted in Books, Gay, History, Lesbian, Nonfiction, Social Sciences, Transgender, True Crime - Tagged , , , , , ,

The Purple Golf Cart: Stories of an Unconventional Grandma

Jan11
2012 Written by Shelly

Back to a lighter note today…but for today’s author, it hasn’t all been sweetness and light!

In 1979, now author and LGBT education Ronnie Sanlo gave up 20 years of hiding and came out as a lesbian. As a result, she lost custody of her children, her job(s) and her dignity. She came out, in Florida, at the height of Anita Bryant’s crusade to pray the gay away from the world. Ronnie would go on to suffer other indignities as well.

Her 2010 book, published by her company, Purple Books Publishing, The Purple Golf Cart: Stories of an Unconventional Grandma, tells her incredible, unconventional story. Join her on her journey through ostracism by her family and the courts, homelessness, despair and bad relationships to the pinnacle of joy, social activism,  and living. She’s the definition of a survivor.

We’re blessed to live in a time when hearts and minds are opening to the idea of a gay lifestyle being an acceptable lifestyle in many areas of the country. It wasn’t that way in the 1970s and 80s. Ronnie suffered mightily for daring to be who she actually was. She goes from closeted, to depression, to angry and activist, to a point where she begins to fight back and ultimately to regain her family, become a leading LGBT educator and to feel the real joy of living.

Her book is fast paced and engrossing. It’s a page turner. Fair warning; parts of it will likely move you to tears but, you’ll also laugh out loud. Be prepared to end up enjoying this. One note: don’t let the title fool you. This is not just a book for the older generation nor is it a book directed at only the young. This one is for everybody.

Posted in Biography, Books, Lesbian, Memoir, Nonfiction - Tagged , ,

Happy New Year to You and Yours! Resolutions Anyone?

Jan01
2012 Written by Shelly

Happy New Year!

I wish for all of my present and future readers a great and prosperous New Year filled with love, joy and laughter!

It’s been a tough year here in my household, primarily from a family perspective. Our wish for ourselves this year is that we get one family member back to full physical health and that the same family member also makes progress on the road to better mental health. We have a couple of young family members in our thoughts as well – a recent high school graduate with little ambition and, we think, some of his own mental demons, that we’re trying to steer down a productive path and another soon to graduate who seems to be careening toward a life filled with attitude and hate for her fellow human beings who aren’t in her immediate circle of friends…and even sometimes toward those that are. If you’re a praying person, please keep all three of them in your prayers. If you’re not, please think good thoughts in their favor.

As for myself, I have some things I really need to accomplish this year. Next fall, my son will begin his Sr. Year of high school. His plans are to enter the military and follow in the footsteps of both myself and his dad. My wife and I have some long range plans we’ve been attempting to make for that time that will come when the baby bird leaves the nest. I need to get in gear and prepare for both this next 18 months and for life beyond that.

There are so many other things that I want to do personally and professionally. I’ve decided to make a “little” resolution list here and to check back periodically to see how I’m progressing with the list. My hope is that my readers will both contribute their own resolutions and help me stay on track with mine. So, here we go:

I resolve to:

1. Continue writing this blog for the next year and to submit quality reviews at least 3 days per week.

2. Begin a writing project of my own that I’ve been procrastinating on and to complete it by mid year (June 30th). More on this later…

3. Ramp my eBay/Amazon business back up and get rid of the accumulation of a family members consignment items. They need the money and I need the space.

4. Determine by mid year if it is viable keep the eBay/Amazon business long term and how much time I want to devote to it for the return I expect to receive.

5. Pay off 4 small debts that I have, 3 of which were the primary reason I took a second part time job and one that I acquired as a result of an accident traveling from said job (insurance deductible that I had to borrow from someone to pay) by mid year.

6. Evaluate the necessity of retaining the 2nd job or continuing full time at my other job after my debts are repaid (see items 4 and 5).

7. Begin preparing our home, inside and out for it’s eventual sale in the next 18 to 24 months. Purging, cleaning, repairing and so forth need to be accomplished. A search for a new “base of operations” that is closer to my wife’s place of work needs started.

8. In this election year, find candidates to support who support things I personally believe in including marriage equality for all.

9. Find ways to become more involved in the LGBT community and to become more activist and support causes that are important to it and to me.

10. To get more involved in my local community where my talents can fulfill needs.

11. Last, but by no means least, with my wife, to listen more than I talk and to seek to understand so much better than I currently do. To love more fully and less conditionally.

Sound like a lot? It isn’t. It’s life, just planned a bit. Over the next couple of weeks, I intend to get some things fully planned and then to work that plan. It’s time to put on my big girl pants and buckle in for a new year with new opportunities.

This year may work out as I plan, or it may not. With no plan though I would continue doing the same things with no set goals for the future. I work best with something to reach for. Don’t we all?

Your input is welcome and appreciated!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

 

 

 

Posted in General Life Posts - Tagged ,

I’m an Idiot! Mea Culpa…I’m Sorry, Please Forgive Me

Nov09
2011 Written by Shelly

I owe everyone reading this an apology. I’m truly sorry. Please forgive me.

Yesterday, I posted a directive for everyone to go out and vote to make their voice heard. While I’m no more enamored of politicians than anyone else, the political process is the official way we can create the change we want to see in the world. Voting for politicians who will, hopefully, work toward the views they espoused on the campaign trail to get our votes is the primary mechanism we have to get things done. With that in mind, I started to leave my house this morning to go and vote. That’s when it all came crashing down.

My wife and I got married late last November, after election season. We went to Washington D.C. to be officially wed. The minister who performed our ceremony signed off on our license and sent it off to be filed for us. We waited the requisite 10 days and then mailed the D.C. Superior Court requesting an official copy of the marriage certificate. We got it in early December. In late December, I took said document to the office of the Social Security Administration (SSA) and officially had my last name changed from my former name, which belonged to my ex-husband, to my wife’s last name. FYI: Ladies this was done by the SSA with no questions asked.

The SSA employee congratulated me on my marriage and told me my new card would arrive in the mail in 10-15 business days. She gave me a document to use in the meantime to provide as proof of the official name change. I took my official marriage certificate and the SSA document immeadiatly to the Ohio Bureau of Motor Vehicles (BMV) and I got a new driver’s license (they did give me a tiny bit of a hassle but, because the SSA changed my name, they didn’t have an argument leg to stand on). It was at that time that I goofed but I didn’t realize it then and the BMV employees, in their confusion about whether they could legally change my license, failed to mention that I could change my voter registration there too.

I know you can register to vote at the BMV in Ohio. I haven’t had to do that in many years though because I registered when my ex-husband and I bought our house. I’ve never moved and I didn’t change my name after the divorce because of our son. I’ve always voted so my registration has never lapsed. It just never occured to me that voter registration would need to be changed when I changed my name.

I didn’t get to vote today. That won’t happen again. I got on my county board of elections website and I filled out the name/address change form that they provided today. I signed it today. It will be mailed today.

I apologize for my error. I do not, however, apologize for imploring everyone to vote. It’s not too late to make your voice heard the next time around. If you’re not registered here’s the most convenient way possible to get registered:


Let’s Rock The Vote!

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