Again, for the 20th time, I’m not a gay man. I can identify with many of my gay brothers in the LGBT community but there are some that I just cannot fathom. I don’t get the whole drug, sex, and dance party scenes (sometimes all combined) that some, especially the younger among them, are involved in, for example. It’s a very male trait to take risks but some of this “live on the edge” risky behavior can get these men killed. Still they do it.
I also totally cannot fathom the pull of a sexual addiction so powerful that it leads to cruising, and especially public area cruising, and all the perils that cruising can be fraught with like assault, arrest, and disease.
I was in a local book store this past week that I like to visit from time to time because, though mainstream, they have a vast LGBT book section and they stay current with the latest offerings. I happened upon 2 men looking through this book so I, curious, picked it up to see what was holding their attention. The book was, Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men
Mr. Weiss is a sex addiction expert and the founder of the Sexual Recovery Institute in the Los Angeles area. His book, should be required reading for all gay men who practice cruising and for those attempting to help them stop.
The publisher’s blurb:
Robert Weiss, director of the Sexual Recovery Institute in Santa Monica, California, avoids political and moral arguments and instead focuses on the clinical approach, asking the question, ”Is your sexual behavior causing problems in other areas of your life?” Cruise Control leads men to a better understanding of the difference between sexual compulsion and non-addictive sexual behavior within the gay experience, and it explains what resources are available for recovery. A timely and important contribution to the body of recovery literature, Cruise Control provides understanding, empathy and encouragement to gay men seeking healthy sexual expression.
Now, that’s what the publisher said. While I admit that I only skimmed the book in the store (remember that I used to be a recruiter and I can read a resume in 8 seconds flat…), I think it’s a lot less clinical than that cover blurb makes it sound and, I feel, it could be of a lot more help to a struggling gay man, if given the chance.
Helpful stuff and especially enlightening. Thanks for taking the time to write it and post it!