I’m not a gay man, can you believe it?! As I’ve admitted in the past, I tend to read things that are of more interest to me as an “L” identified member of the LGBT community. As a responsible reviewer though, I do try to educate myself by reading things that appeal to other members of my growing audience (whom I very much appreciate).
Lesbian life has it’s quirks and issues, to be sure, but it seems, to me, that the way is a bit easier for us than it is for a gay man especially in relation to self image and social acceptance in the straight world. That’s my personal opinion. There will sisters out there that will likely take issue with that statement, but if I was a betting woman, I would bet that most of my gay brothers would agree.
I picked up a book last week that spoke to the issues of gay men trying to fit in, in a straight world. It’s titled The Velvet Rage: Overcoming the Pain of Growing Up Gay in a Straight Man’s World
Given that I’m not the best person to review a book about gay men that’s specifically intended to be read by a gay male audience, I’m deferring the rest of this review to Mr. Joseph Denny who gave his considered in-depth opinion of the book on Amazon.com:
…It turns out that the publisher’s review about the book on Amazon is completely misleading — in fact, it’s awful. Far from being a book centered on “fabulousness” (if there is such a word), creativity, and material success, this book describes just about every gay man I have ever met — including me. While it does mention these subjects in passing, probably 99% of the book talks about how the kind of behavior we have come to think of as “normal” and even expect from gay men (judgmental, prone to gossip, secretive, perfectionist, quick to blame, body-image problems, and more) is a way of dealing with the feeling most of us have had from childhood — that of being “second-class citizens.”
Yes, these character traits do not apply to all gay men, but my guess is that at least one of the areas Dr. Downs talks about applies to every gay man on this board. The important thing to note is that this is not a book about blame, but rather explaining where these behaviors come from, and best of all, how to change them. For those of us who have never even seen a healthy gay relationship, much less been in one, he’s got a whole chapter on those.
Trust me on this one, guys, BUY THIS BOOK! If you read it and it turns out none of what Dr. Downs talks about applies to you, then not only are you welcome to tell me so on this board, but if you’re anywhere within driving distance of Los Angeles, I will take you out to dinner, because I definitely need more people like you in my life. For the rest of us, this book offers a picture of what an emotionally healthy gay man looks like, and a roadmap to getting there. ~ Joseph Denny
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