Top Six Bisexual References for the LGBT Community

Though I was married to a man for nearly 16 years, I now identify as lesbian. Once I figured it all out, there was no turning back. I’m definitely gay, not bisexual.

Many in the LGBT community give less credence to the bisexuals included in our acronym than they do to those who identify as transgender (definitely a misunderstood group). Men and women, but especially women, who identify as bisexual are termed fence sitters among many other terms – some far less polite – and, in a lot of cases, looked on with contempt and disdain. I’ve mentioned previously that, though I’m not bi, because I didn’t identify as a lesbian from a young age, I’ve been the subject of some of this contempt.

I personally feel that it’s getting better for the bisexual component of our community in terms of acceptance…but maybe I’m looking at the “picture” through the lens of now being married to a woman and not feeling so much of the contempt that I used to feel.

As with my ongoing transgender education, I’ve done a bit of reading about what it means to be bisexual. Above all, I’ve learned that sexuality and sexual orientation are fluid. We all fall somewhere along a continuum and further, that where we fall can change over time as we change, grow and meet new people.

I’ve chosen 6 (really, 7) books that I’ve read over the past several months that I think would give a reader a good understanding of all of the nuances of bisexuality.

1. Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out by editors Loraine Hutchins and Lani Kaahumanu. This one is older (1991) and, dare I say, groundbreaking. It’s a great introduction to the whole concept of bisexuality, the idea of a continuum and, of course, bisexuals speaking out in their own words. It’s a well done, well researched book that will get you thinking and seeing the bigger picture. How about a 20th anniversary update authors?

2.  Getting Bi: Voices of Bisexuals Around the World, Second Edition by authors and editors Robin Ochs and Sarah Rowley. This second selection is packed with essays from bisexual contributors, male and female, from all over the world. I picked it up because this includes the two editors of the book I listed previously and I got so much out of that.

3.  Sexual Fluidity: Understanding Women’s Love and Desire by Lisa M. Diamond. This 2009 publication is one for the ladies, per se, but it offers quite an in depth take on sexual fluidity. This book is geared in a 2 fold way to help both the LGBT community and the anti-gay establishment to understand the continuum of sexuality. Because it says it better than I can, here is the review from Publisher’s Weekly:

“Many women experience a fluid sexual desire that is responsive to a person rather then a specific gender, argues Diamond n this fascinating and certain to be controversial study. Diamond, associate professor of psychology and gender studies at the University of Utah, is best when detailing, with vivid examples, how scientific studies of sexual desire and behavior have focused on the experience of men, for whom the heterosexual/homosexual divide seems mostly fixed. Diamond says traditional labels for sexual desire are inadequate; for some women even bisexual does not truly express the protean nature of their sexuality. Diamond details in accessible and nuanced language her own study of 100 young women (by her own admission not fully representative) over a period of 10 years. She says that she is calling for an expanded understanding of same-sex sexuality that could radically affect both LGBT activists who hold that sexual identity is fixed and antigay groups who believe sexuality is chosen. Sexual fluidity involves a mix of internal and external factors, but is not, Diamond emphasizes, a matter of conscious choice, and she speculates that a younger generation that views sexuality as personal rather than political might embrace this less rigid view. (Feb.)
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4. On the Down Low: A Journey into the Lives of ‘Straight’ Black Men Who Sleep with Men by J. L. King (April 2004) and,
Beyond the Down Low: Sex, Lies, and Denial in Black America by Keith Boykin (December 2004) which takes issue with much of the 1st book. Both are fascinating reads about the lives of black men in heterosexual unions who live dual lives by having sexual encounters with other men. J.L. King did write a follow-up book in 2005, Coming Up from the Down Low: The Journey to Acceptance, Healing, and Honest Love to clarify and expand on his 1st book and, I believe, to counter some of Boykin’s book.

5.  Bi Men: Coming Out Every Which Way by editors Ron Jackson Suresha and Peter Chvany. A collection of essays by bisexual men from all ages and all walks of life.

6.  The Bisexual’s Guide to the Universe: Quips, Tips, and Lists for Those Who Go Both Ways by Nicole Krystal and Mike Syzmanski. This book, published in 2006, is just flat out fun. Do not look at this as a book to explain all of the nuances of sexuality. Take it only in the humorous spirit its authors intended it. We all need a few good laughs now and then!