Gay By a Different Route – Living the Difference

I was torn as I sat down to write this review. The book I’m going to talk about today mirrors my own experience in so many ways that, other than the fact that the author is male, it could have been written about me. The book tells the story of one mans struggle to reveal his truth, he’s gay,  and then to walk in the light of it after going the traditional marriage and children route. My experience, from the female perspective, is strikingly similar.

Why was I torn? There are many in the LGBT community, especially women, who have walked in my shoes and author Joe Knudson’s shoes. They’ve been married in a traditional “straight”, heterosexual partnership. They’ve had kids. They would see the value in this book. On the other hand, there is a small but very vocal portion of the lesbian and gay community who express true animosity toward those of us who formally lived as straight men and women and now do not. We’re often looked at by our own community with loathing and disdain. Some see us as opportunists – as if we would choose to be gay and ostracized by a large portion of society for the security of a partnership and monetary support or for other reasons. Others feel that we were lying before to cover or to fit in while they were “fighting the good fight” so to speak. In either case, the lifelong gay that feels this way assumes an air of superiority and refuses to acknowledge us as a part of this community.

Knudson, with his book, Living the Difference: an enlightening story revealed for people of all ages straight or gay, is working to break down the wall between straight and gay by telling his personal story and letting the world see just how alike we all are, straight and gay. I would submit that this book is especially appropriate for those in the LGBT community who do not accept gay men like Joe and lesbians like me as genuine. We’re all alike, gay and gay and lesbian to lesbian no matter how or when we reached that conclusion. Our collective challenge is to work together to educate the rest of the world rather than to fight among ourselves over who is more gay.

Editorial Reviews

Knudson takes a modern approach to the old fashioned ‘coming of age’ narrative. Picking up bestseller themes, he breaks through & takes us on a fascinating journey no gay author has been able to capture to date.
–Ryan Scott Scarola

Poignant & inspiring, LIVING THE DIFFERENCE is an extraordinary & courageous survival story of the modern age, conquering the final frontier of bigotry & prejudice. Amazingly rich piece, a MUST READ!  –Jessica Arent, CEO at PROMESA

Author has done an amazing & outstanding job in his literary debut; it’s a work filled with love, hate, joy, sorrow, & much more.  It keeps you reading through the night, while inspiring liberation from identity struggles.  –J.J. Thomas