Unless you count basic military training when drill sergeants were still allowed to “get in your face”, I’ve been priviledged to never feel bullied in my life. Others are not so fortunate. Lesbian and gay kids are struggling. I know this. Please realize that you are not alone. Support is out there.
LGBT identified teens are not the only ones to feel the sting of bullying. My nephew is a straight young man. He stands nearly 6 feet tall. He’s not shy by any means and he has friends. He even has the occassional girlfriend though, it never lasts more than a few weeks or so. He rides bulls for fun. He’s 18 years old and recently graduated from high school. It’s a very small country school. His graduating class, of under 100 students, was the largest ever. He played football on the varsity team this past year.
For some unexplained reason, he was the constant target of hazing and bullying by another senior on the football team. The other young man often coerced other teammates into bullying my nephew as well. Once, just after school (and before football practice), as a “prank” the main culprit and one of his many sidekicks stuffed him into the trunk of a car. They then attempted to leave the area. They were seen by a school busing official who forced the boys to go back and release him. Other students who witnessed the incident immeadiatly reported it. My sister-in-law went to the police to press assault charges. The police dropped the case when the school stepped in to say they were “handling it”.
The way the school system handled it was to have a seminar on bullying after the football season ended. You see, big bully #1s family donated quite a bit of money to the school for rennovations to the football stadium. There was no way the administration was going to take that boy off the field, suspend him or expell him, even after holy hell was raised by all who were aware of what happened.
There is no excuse for the actions of the bully or for the school system that protected him. My nephew is fortunate to have a strong support system of people around him who could help him through the constant pain of what should have been one of the best years of his life. He was down and dejected for a while, but he’s moving on now. Since graduation a month ago, he’s put it all behind him and he’s looking forward to the future.
If a straight, white, hard working, fun-loving, semi-jock can be the subject of bullying and overcome it, YOU CAN TOO. Suicide is not the answer. We’re losing too many teenagers and even younger children to suicide over bullying. Hang in there. IT GETS BETTER. It really does. Life is worth living and you’re worth it!
The “It Gets Better Project” is a result of the work of writer and newspaper editor Dan Savage and his husband Terry Miller. They’ve been partnered for 16 years. They too were both bullied as gay teens. Now thousands of videos have been submitted to YouTube for the It Gets Better Project. About 100 or so of these personal stories have been transcribed for this book which should be a must read for all of our LGBT children. These aren’t just celebrities talking. Some are everyday kids with stories of their own courage and survival.
Teenagers, your life has just begun. You’re have so much yet to give the world. Stay strong. Remember, once high school is over, the bullies can’t touch you anymore. You won’t see them everyday and they’ll just disappear. It Gets Better!
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