Written by I left recruiting a few months back. I was a little burned out, a little overworked, and a lot underpaid. I’ve always had a small side business selling things on eBay and doing consignments for others to sell things for them that they didn’t have the time to sell themselves. I decided to go back to doing that full-time. It’s what I love. My eBay store is www.mjsconsignments.com if you’re interested.
Anyway, business was great for a few months but, as I sell primarily collectibles and what other people bring me and not new, current or commodity merchandise, I’m seeing my annual Summer slow down. Since I have the luxury of a wife with a great job, I don’t have to run around like a mad woman trying to drum up business that just really isn’t there at this time of year. Sure, I can find loads of consignors but the buyers are all outside playing. Still, I do need to bring in a bit more income than sales are projecting to be right now. Thus, I took a part time job. Training starts tomorrow. I’m excited and looking forward to it…yes, really! The pay is reasonable and the hours are a perfect fit for me. It’s the proverbial “win-win”.
As a former recruiter, I’m a social person by nature. My new position is a great fit for me, in that regard. I’ll have lots of new co-workers and, given the size of the organization, several layers of management. Though there won’t be a lot of time for idle chit-chat given the nature of my position, the usual topics are bound to come up, for example, the “So what did you do this weekend?” question. If you’re gay, partnered or dating, and you’re closeted or just not out at work, you know what a minefield that question can be.
I was out at my last job. I had two go-arounds with that company. I’d kept my personal situation private the first time around but it was so hard, I eventually did tell a co-worker with a lesbian sister and, later, my direct supervisor. The 2nd time around, everyone knew everything the day I walked through the door since one of the stipulations of my return was that I have time off for my wedding.
With a new job, I’m entering new territority. The new company, given the nature of its primary business, is very male dominated and, though not conservative, kinda/sorta good old boy at the core. It’s uncharted water for me since I left the military shortly after discovering my truth and never ventured away from my straight image there. Should I come out at the new company and, if so, how? When?
I found myself seeking out an old reference. A friend lent me a book several years back when I was struggling to come to terms with who I am and racing my otherwise beloved ex-husband to tell everyone the real reason we were splitting. The book is Michaelangelo Signorile’s excellent guide: Outing Yourself: How to Come Out as Lesbian or Gay to Your Family, Friends, and Coworkers
Some lesbians and gays under 25 will say this book is dated (it was published in 1996). They’ll say there’s so much more acceptance now. While that’s true when you’re under 25 and coming out to your enlightend college friends, it’s so much harder for the rest of us. And, already out 20 somethings, I bet you wish you had planned out how to explain it all to grandma and grandpa!
Michaelangelo’s book will walk you step by step through the process, beginning with admitting things to yourself. If you’re just starting out thinking you might be gay, this book will help. If you’re already fully self aware, you’ll see yourself in it but you can skip ahead to the areas where you need the most guidance. This book is full of advice concerning who to tell first and how, when to tell and when to wait.
by R.E. “Decky” Bradshaw. Though certainly not the first title of hers that I’ve read, this one is like she wrote it after reading excerpts from my personal journal…if I had kept one…
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as part of a collection of her short stories. Close range also featured another story she won an O. Henry for, 
. You can get it by clicking that link or the grapic just below.
her first, and 
her latest which includes the song I mentioned, 
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CD that contained the song “Silent Legacy”. That song became my anthem through my first year of coming to terms with who I am and coming out. I later bought every album on CD Melissa has ever cut. I’ve sold off many of my CDs but I’ve kept all of hers.
and I bought it immeadiatly. I loved the book. It’s a bit dated now that she and Tammy have split, but it still offers much insight into her life, her music and her causes. Pick it up and give it a shot.
, hit store shelves in April. It’s skyrocketed to the top of just about every self-help bestseller list you can find. It’s not a weight loss book. It’s a “How to change your life” book. Does it apply to weight loss? Of course. But, it applies to so much more. It isn’t full of fluff either. This book is full of real insight, real experience and real techniques that you can use. Sit down to read but get out your pen and paper. You’ll need it.
, authored by the Twin Cities GLBT Oral History Project, captures much of the history of gay and lesbian Minnesota. It’s a fascinating answer to the current political climate in the state and well worth a read no matter where you live if you want to understand how GLBT live outside the lines of cable television.
. It’s a great suspense story with tight writing and well rounded out main characters. I enjoyed the aspect of a retiring hitwoman taking in, not necessarily willingly, someone who is appearantly prey for another hitwoman and all that a situation like that entails. I give the book 4 out of 5 stars. The only reason it doesn’t get 5 is because I felt like it ended too soon. I’d have liked to have had more backstory on the 3rd main character and a bit longer of a skirmish at the end.
. Her book adresses the issues involved in understanding sexual orientation and gender identity issues in youth and incorporating this understanding into the mainstream.
understands the damage created by a zealous religious right bent on banning gay marriage rights, no matter the cost – human or monetary. Sheri isn’t gay, she’s straight. She’s married. She’s a mormon…or she was.
. It’s climbing the best seller list quickly. Is it worth a read? In a word: Yes.